Wednesday, December 15, 2010

being a mother..

I'm crazy.

Of Twilight Saga books. Ok let's not talk about twilight coz later u've to make me stop. Besides..am sooo ketinggalan kan. Haha. Like i care.

It's just that, it seems hard for me to focus on something else when i haven't finished reading the books. So i guess i have to speed up. It annoys me sometimes bila i macam too absorbed dgn buku sampai tak berapa nak fokus main dgn sofea. But i'm so desperately wanna finish the book. It's so different now when you are a mother. Tak boleh la suka2 buat perangai macam orang tak de anak kan? Somehow i'm so grateful i ada bibik yang boleh diharap so i can still find time for myself.

Sofea can speak in her own words now.Babababa..mamamama..emememe...pahh..dah pandai hulur2 botol or makanan kalau dia nak minum/makan, always cannot wait to take a bath (seriously loves water), wanna eat whatever we we're eating, suka ambil baju buat2 mcm nak pakai tudung, ambil key n jalan sampai pintu (konon2 nak keluar rumahla), tak keruan bila daddy n mommy dah pakai complete mcm nak keluar rumah, asyik nak daddy dukung bila outing, likes watching video clip Maher Zain, dah pandai salam n cium tangan, dah pandai kissing (ops.haha). etc etc etc.

But she has one problem so far. I dunno if it's normal for toddlers to sleep around 12-1 a.m in the morning. Sangat lambat ok nak tunggu dia ngantuk. Haihh. Sometimes it's getting on my nerves n tak pasal2 mommy yg getting upset sebab ngantuk. I admit i've lack of patience when i'm sleepy or in pain (menstrual pain for example). n i totally regret it.

Kadang tidur sekejap dia tiba2 terjaga n nangis2 nak dukung. I yg dah terlelap-lelap ni of cozla take time nak compose myself kan. By that time, it's too late sebab she's getting more upset n crying badly. Thankfully mylocx yg keje night shift kat rumah ni is being helpful n mulalah dukung2 sofea n tawaf dalam rumah. N i get a very bad habit of showing my temper kat mylocx instead. (yang mulanya upset sbb ngantuk n bila i dukung sofea tak mau benti nangis)..
n as soon as i've done it, i felt so guilty n regretting it. Haihh. It's tough job being a mom i would say.

N of coz if i'm in a conscious state of mind..i always remind myself not to behave that way again. It took all my patience to get up every 3 or 4 times in the middle of the night to feed her or to comfort her. There's no a good night sleep for me except for once in a while. That's y i prefer breastfeed her n lying beside her rather than getting up to do whatever i've to do to bottle-feed her. But sometimes she doesn't seem to get enough breast milk that i've to feed her with formula. It's not always predictable u know, being a mother.

ahh enough of those mother talks. I'm in holiday mode now. Yes i'm soo enjoying it as i dun have to worry about works n schools n students bla bla bla. Those are the major cause of my stress. Haha. What? Dun bother telling me about integrity whatsoever. I'm a human n gimme a break. Not a vampire or something.( Ha sudahh..influence of twilight sudah mariii).

Besides, i don't think i'm good at coping with stress...even though people r telling me otherwise. Whatever.

Daa.


4 comments:

yanml said...

terkesima sebentar baca post ko Fa....tu la cabaran ibu muda...sabar byk2....tu baru sorang....nnt dah bertambah...kena la upgrade lg sabar tu...layan lg bayak karenah....wish u all the best....

Nadya said...

she had nightmares kot..but i feel u.kene bgn 3,4 kali anak merengek2 sgt la sressful pabila mengantuk..huhu n kene pulak keje the next day kan..tersengguk2 la kt opis tu..haha sebbaik aydan now dah xkene dukung dodoi2 bile die terjaga..xmcm mase kecik2 dlu..letihhh babahnye la kesian sbb die nk babahnye yg dodoi..now tepuk2 je dh lena blk.sumtimes mase minum susu terlena sendri..patience is the keyword.mommyhood sgt tough.hehe

effa said...

yan: thanx.
erghh tu la sabar!huhu.mcm roller coaster tau jd mak nih.haha.

effa said...

k.nadya: tula.lately tido lambat sgt.sebaikla skang cuti.kalo x tu gi keje ngan ting tong ting tong la.haha.pastu mommy nye plak xlarat dukung lama2.ngantks plak tu.what a perfect combo kan?yup yup patience!!!